All the habits I have discussed so far in this series for a family that wins are critical practices. But this sixth habit is the one that often gets the least attention—courage.
Anias Nin once said, “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”
I had the opportunity to go to family camp this past fall, an event that’s become somewhat of a tradition for our family. We drive to the mountains of Asheville, North Carolina, where we spend a few days getting to know each other. We grow, challenge, and learn from each other.
And each year at family camp, we find that they add something new. Last year the new thing was to climb to the top of a pole in a challenge called the Leap of Faith.
Althea Gibson once said, “No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you.” That is especially true for families, and turtles and geese can help demonstrate the essential habit of collaboration.
Our house is filled with a collection of all sorts of turtles; in fact, I’ve lost count of how many turtles we actually have. We have them scattered around to serve as a reminder of the turtle question, inspired by our dear friend Don Seltzer, whom I’ve mentioned before.
The question Don asks is, Have you ever seen a turtle on a fencepost? The obvious next question is, How would a turtle even get on a fencepost?
My wife and I attended a marriage seminar this past weekend; in fact, we presented a talk on the topic of making your family a priority. And it reminded me of the fourth habit of a family that wins.
We enjoyed participating in the sessions, and one of the things we learned—the number one thing that was talked about at this marriage seminar—was the top reason that marriages struggle—communication.
Who are you when no one is looking? Habit 3 of a family that wins was taught to me by my grandparents and parents who believed it to be the foundation of everything. What is it? Character.
I grew up believing character to be who you are when no one is looking. I’ve shared that definition with my children as we’ve worked to make it the bedrock of our family culture.
It is also the real foundation of all worthwhile success and the sum total of all the choices we make in life.
You are a successful leader. You lead at your place of business. You may even have started the business in the first place. But sometimes it feels as if none of that matters when it’s time to head home to your family after work.
At work, you get respect. People know the results you deliver and they turn to you for guidance and advice. But at home no one seems to care what you think.
What makes a habit stick? My last post introduced the first habit for a family that wins—care. But what is the habit that ensures all other positive characteristics actually become habits?
The key to anything going from good idea, to dream, to a reality that can be replicated is the second habit – commitment.
The family that values commitment will be a family that is well-positioned to win.
Parents and families are not lacking in ideas of how to get stronger and win together, but those ideas often go off-course because the family has not developed the habit of commitment.
What is the one habit that is so foundational to your family’s success that all other habits will suffer without it? My series on the 7 habits of a family that wins kicks off with a focus on what I believe to be the most critical habit – care.
I believe it was John C. Maxwell who said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Other business leaders and even family members have offered similar advice.
For a family, I view care as the starting point for all of the other six habits, because when a family develops a habit of caring, it makes all the other habits possible.
Over the last several weeks, the community here at MarkTimm.com has grown significantly as I’ve connected with so many of you who want to be better leaders at home. It has been a privilege to connect with so many parents—and future parents—who long for clarity and confidence at home just like me.
One of the most valuable things to me about connecting with all of you is hearing the challenges you’re presently facing as a family.
So many of you have told me you struggle with organization, time management, and finding a proven structure to help you execute the dream of how your family could be. Many of you are leaders outside your home who feel dazed and confused when it comes to leading at home.
Some people make a lasting impact. I recently posted about the lasting legacy that can come from planting a seed. One person who planted a seed with me was someone whose name has become iconic in the world of motivation and goal-setting—Zig Ziglar.
I was a freshman in high school when I was given the opportunity to travel from Fillmore, Indiana to Kansas City, Missouri to attend the national Future Farmers of America (FFA) convention.
I had never been that far away from home, and had never been in a place with so many people at one time—tens of thousands of young people like me from all across the country.
Do you know what you want to accomplish in 2016? What goals do you have for your business and your family? This past year was a great year for the Timm family—our best year ever. We achieved far more than we ever dreamed possible. But it didn’t happen by accident.
Last year’s success started when my wife Ann and I had a conversation. We knew there was more we could and should be doing in life, work, and family.